Art is never ugly.

There was not very much that made me feel alive
anymore.
Life was just one bland mixture.
Painted on an imperfect canvas with fading and cheap colors.
Amateurish, ugly to the rest of the world.
I felt ugly on the inside, which distorted my reflection on the outside.
My colors ran, they bled out.
Yet I knew that someone would find beauty in me. As I often found beauty in the desolate.
Whether I was Poor and priceless.
I would mean the world to them.
In rags or riches they they would cherish me.
Like a surge of lightning the epiphany.
It was a hard pressing truth.
Relieving but simultaneously filled with repressed emotions.
The conclusion was.
ART is never BAD.
Nor ugly.
Art is simply unique.
Art is everything to its creator and its admirer.
That I myself was never bad.
Nor ugly.
Too outwardly focused on everyone elses palette to appreciate my own.
Love is the same way.
THis is why the most unlikely of souls find one ANOTHER.
Becoming interwoven by the sleights of hands. Walking through a confused and appalled world bathing in their originality.
Spiting all critics who lack their own masterpiece.
Art is all life.
All life is art.

While erotica is the main focus of my creative talent. I have always considered myself an introspective person. Always trying to find meaning and purpose in all that is around me, be it sensible or nonsensical. A daydreaming existentialist with a wild imagination. I used to use creativity as an escape, a way to deal with the stresses of life. Relieving my existential woes with whatever muse I was taking up at the time. It was amazing, though temporary. Eventually it all circled back. It wasn’t until I dealt with these issues head on, sought help for the things that ailed me, was I able to harness my creativity and put my heart into it.

A healed heart has much more to tell than a broken one.

I wrote this on a day where I was feeling very down. I was finding that the very thing I enjoyed and loved so much was beginning to cause me frustration. Eventually I stopped writing. I had to find myself as a person once again before I could find myself  as an artist and creative individual.